Humans Just Don't Understand

My favorite human came over today. I try to jump and nibble. I just love the taste of that human. But the crazy lady always grabs me. I can avoid her for a while, but I always end up on my rug. I do this everytime there is a visitor. You would think they would get it. I need to jump and talk and nibble. I tell them as loud as I can what I want to do. Humans just don't understand.

I have many needs. I need to go out. I need to come in. Wait, I really just need to stay out. No, forget it, I want to come in. Did you just open the door for me? Thanks, but I will stay out. No, don't go away. I want to come in?

What is so difficult to understand about that?

And why are all the snacks only available to those with opposable thumbs? There are times when I just want a meaty treat too. Why can the little humans go get something when they want to?

They also seem to think that I am happy to see them when they come home. I am clearly only upset that they left without me. I shout and whine and tell them all about it. There is nothing happy about what I have to say. I just don't think it is fair that they get to be free and I have to stay.