I don't like boats. I don't understand why the boss man likes them. Plus, it rains every time we go on the boat. I will admit that my fur is very soft and fluffy after being in the rain. But I will not admit that it is any consolation.

Crazy Lady spends 4 days packing the entire house. All the bags are left out in the open for me to see. Don't they know this adds to my hysteria? I see all these snacks. But nothing for me.

When we get to the boat, Boss Man leaves me alone with Crazy Lady and the small humans while he get all of their stuff. I don't like separation. I want to be the one that goes. Then they put this ugly red and yellow vinyl thing on me that just does not breath at all. Plus, I really look much better in purple.

I do get some time to smell a few dogs and socialize. I even had chocolate cake dumped on me. But it does not make up for getting closed in the boat twice. It is dark and I need to be free. I spend all my time on a leash. I tell everyone I can about my situation, but no one listens. I even have to go to the bathroom on the leash. No privacy.

It's Wabbit Season

Sshhh. Be very quiet. It's wabbit season and I am wabbit hunting.

I am on guard at all moments. I must wake at 2 am to make sure I get the first glimpse of the waskily wabbit. I must say that I am impressed with how fast that little fur ball is. I am the fast crazy white dog and I cannot quite catch up with it.

I don't know why it won't stay and play. I just want to grab it and shake it a little. It would be like a fun ride. I am so misunderstood.

This is preposthterousth-th!

Crazy O'Dog

My humans are trying to confuse me. They have all these names for me. Boss Man just calls me Thing. I can't imagine why. Crazy lady has started calling me Crazy O'Dog. I think it has something to do with all the green they have been wearing lately. But honestly, I still just need to be Running O'Free.

I'm Talking But No One Is Listening

I know they can hear me. I am telling them exactly what I want. They just blankly stare back or laugh. I can't believe I got such unintelligent humans.

There are other dogs outside. Why can't they let me out there. There might be moles. What if there is a bird I need to chase. Plus, my paws are clean. I feel much more comfortable with dirty white fur around my paws. I don't want to go lay down. I will do it, but I don't want to. OK, I am down. Now will you listen? Maybe if I jump up to a higher level, they will understand. Maybe they need eye contact.

It looks like I am going to have to call in support to make a dog door.

Do You Want To Go?

I can't help myself. I love that question. And, yes, of course I want to go. Here, let me help you get the leash out. Where are we going to go? Can I chase some dogs? Or maybe a brisk walk around the neighborhood? Will there be a moment that I might be able to run away?

No. Crazy Lady is going toward the car. That is not where I want to go. How could I have shown such excitement for this. Oh, wait. It is a trip to the grocery store where I get to stay in the car. Could this be any more fun? Maybe I can get someone to stop at the car so I can lick them. Maybe I could convince someone to let me go free.

Not in the cards. Here comes Crazy Lady. I don't even get anything from the bag.

I don't really like these humans.

I Understand

Let's just set the record straight. I know what "come" means. I hear your requests.

If I come when Crazy Lady calls me, I might get a treat. But she might also touch me. I have to decide if it is worth it. Sometimes she comes after me, picks me up and rolls me upside down. Would you come to that?