For the Love of Turkey

The humans know my weakness for food. They seem to have such joy from my humiliation. I try so hard to show my displeasure at having to do tricks. But they have ignored my pleas and decided to add a new one.

I get the "crawl" command. I really don't know what it means, but they expect me to figure it out. The humans sit in front of me and tell me "down". Then they put the turkey goodness out and say "crawl". At first, they also said "here" - so I got up and came there. But that did not get me the turkey. I had to go back and try again.

I tried throwing myself into a "roll over". But that wasn't it either. Finally, I stay low and stealth-like to see if I can just take the turkey. Amazingly that is what they were looking for. Now I know that "crawl" means "back legs push, butt in the air, slide on your shoulder" for food. Since it is close to rolling over, I add the grumbling and teeth.

They got that flashy thing out again when I was performing for them. I don't like that thing. I think it might be the evil device that starts the pounding and flashing in the rain.

Yesterday must have been my birthday

What a day. So, it is Thursday (remember, I know the days of the week) and usually Bossman gets up and goes through his routine prior to the abandonment. Today was different. He didn’t get up at 6:45. I began my typical morning routine of sprinting outside to chase the black birds, begging to come in, deciding to stay out, breakfast, and couch time. Then all of a sudden I started smelling all these great smells from the kitchen. The crazy lady is cooking. In the morning! She doesn't even do that much at night.

At lunchtime, Bossman gets up from the computer and says those 5 great words. “Do you want to go for a run?” (OK, I can't count.) This is one of my favorite activities with Bossman. He’s slow so it gives me time to find great smells. Sometimes when I get a whiff of a great bouquet, I will stop real fast and watch Bossman get yanked backwards. Always funny. I should post that on America’s Funniest Videos. (Tom Bergeron, call me.)

When we get back from the run, there is large bird in a pot coming out of the cold box. That thing looks delicious. This family rarely has that much meat around. And they think I am nuts. I park my self in the kitchen looking for any weakness in the meat protection plan. They were too good for me today. Once that bird goes in the hot box, boy does this house smell good!

So far this has been a great start to the day but it only gets better. My favorite family in the whole world comes over for a visit. I am trying telling them all about my great day, but Bossman and crazy lady keep telling me to go to my rug. Go lie on your own rug. I just want to know where’s Stanley and “mini me” (Lulu) are and please can I nibble on you just a little.

Everyone gets to eat while I wait patiently for my food. Remember its my birthday! (I don’t really know but this has to be it). Then the moment comes for my food. There goes Crazy Lady to the garage to get the food. I go with her to double check the preparations. Hills Science Diet. (I can read). Then guess what. Bossman calls over and says my new 5 favorite words “Do you want some turkey”? Meat Meat MEAT MEAT. What do you want me to do for that meat? I say my best “HELLO” and run through all my other tricks for good measure. Then he puts some meat in my bowl. Three gulps and I am done with dinner. That was good.

And, she is off...

The morning started out very normal. I lulled my humans into a false sense of security. They have no idea that I know the days of the week. They try to get out of the house in the morning without me on Fridays. I am going to make a break for it.

It worked so well. They really aren't that smart. I waited until they opened the house door to go into the garage for shoes. (And why do they need these things. You don't see me putting on shoes to go outside.) I quiety snuck behind them to hide in the garage. I stayed behind the van to be completely out of sight.

The garage door opened and I had my out. I ran for it - they didn't even see me! But the neighbors were out for school too. It distracted me - darn my desperate need to socialize. I ran to them, but caught myself just in time. I made a quick turn and sprinted down the hill. I heard my older, rounder human tell someone that she just saw a white streak going down the hill. I still got it.

I was free! I love being free. If it were not for the food that the humans give me, I would probably stay free. There is no way to catch me. I am too fast and sneaky. The round human chased me in the car. There were even other humans from the neighborhood out to get me. I guess everyone knows me from my frequent trips around the neighborhood.

Still, I was drawn to all the humans. I wanted to run to them so bad. I did get so close, but I could see their hands reaching down to grab me. And then I was off in the other direction. Oh, but then there was a dog. It is a good thing I have practiced evasive maneauvers. I was able to greet the dog so many times and still get away. But no, now there is a little human. I had to get to her. I let her get close enough to touch me, but my craftiness and speed was just too much.

In the end, I was done in by me desire to say hello. I knew the hand was coming, but I needed that pet. I was back in the car, but so much more happy than I was before.

Theme Song

Does that make me crazy, probably.

The Shower

It is not getting any better here. I slept in the shower last night. Why don't these humans feel the destruction about to begin. It is still rumbling and blowing outside and then last night the humans tried to get me to say "I love Tom Bergeron".

The Bunker

I have been very on edge the past week. I heard the humans call the noises "a storm", but I am still positive that there is trouble brewing. I don't know who to trust. Could my humans be involved in a secret plot against me? I don't like the wet outside, but I am not sure I should come in. I think I need to find a way out.

I have at least prepared a small area to hide out.

Crazy Lady

There is a crazy lady in my house. She always wants to kiss and pet me. I really don't like all that mushy stuff. But the next minute she is chasing me and flipping me upside down. I am getting great at evasive manuevers.

The smaller humans in the house seem to really like this lady. They hug her a lot. I have heard her say, "please let me breath my own air". Are you kidding me? She is just getting some of her own medicine.

A few nights ago, there was some loud booms, wind, and craziness happening outside. I tried to sleep in the shower. The humans seem to be at ease with the obvious signs of distress outside. They even want me to go outside. I did make a bunker out there just in case.

I Am Crazy

My name is Sunshine. But I also go by Crazy White Dog. When I go for walks, people stop my humans to admire me. In enjoy the attention. They usually ask what type of dog I am. The answer is always - Crazy White Dog. I have to admit that it does suit me.

I was alone for the beginning of my life in Arkansas. A kind human saw my picture and rescued me. Being the extrovert that I am, I loved the trucker’s network that brought me to Seattle and my current home. I can tell that my humans would like me to be a 45 pound lap dog, but I just can not do that. I am a mover, not a cuddler.

I try to play with the birds. I run around all corners of my yard to try to see dogs in the other yards. But there is one one path I follow. I must follow it at all times. I am proud of how nicely it is now marked.

My favorite thing to do is run full speed at the sliding door to show my great desire to come inside. I might scratch at the screen door for added effect. As soon as they open the door I sprint away. It never gets old.

I hear my human’s say that I’m overly social. I just have an overwhelming need to grab everyone and bring them down to my level. It would probably would not be as problematic without my run and jump approach. I do know how to sit & stay, but why would I do that when I am faster than everyone?